Is there nothing to make life good? I must sound so selfish. I have so much to be grateful for, yet I am ungrateful. I am simply not motivated to do my homework. There are many things I would be glad to do. I would love to paint, or cook, or play the piano, but I am stuck needing to do homework. I am sitting here, either lying looking at the ceiling, daydreaming, or I am on Facebook, or now I am just writing on about how dull life is. I need a friend, I need a girlfriend who will motivate me to do my homework so I can get on to better things in life.
I simply feel lifeless. Like nothing is alive except my fingers loosely attached to the weary thoughts in my brain allowing me to type nonsense onto this blog. Maybe I will die in pursuit of nothing. There are so many things I wish to pursue, maybe it is those things exactly which keep me from caring, I care so much about the things I want to pursue that I don't pursue them so that they won't hurt me. If I try, I might fail, and then I will have lived for nothing, though there are many things that I try and succeed in, so why must other things be so different?
Do I need a brake from life, of corse not, no one has ever told me that except myself, If I want to be lazy, I will have to face a wall disagreement from all those who surround me. Although I know many who want the same, to simply enjoy life, they don't think of it as being lazy, isn't there something to live for without being criticized of one's laziness.
I know what it is like to get what you want and completely wonder why you ever wanted it. I have spent summers being lazy and thought to myself, I will never be lazy again, well, maybe we just need short brakes more often. I don't know what to say, I suppose I'm done ranting about meaningless thoughts that seep out of my brain when I am as tired as I am tonight.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Much
So much to think about, the thoughts of the soul of the world, the longing for love, the true passion of the ability to express one's self, the careful attention of an art of any kind, specifically and particularly something rare and enthralling, such as the beating of a humming birds heart and to research of the science at the same time as making an art of it and exploring through creativity of knowledge, there is so much to know about everything and so much to express, that sometimes I wonder if I was put here by God to express and contemplate such a purpose and everything and anything exciting.
I am now remembering of last night when i figured out that nothing but being content was the answer to the meaning of life, and at the same time that everything exciting was the reason for passion and that together I could be complete and able to do anything I set my mind to, for if I needed to be content I could simply put myself in the place to be there and I could go and nothing else would need to be said.
Be still and know that I am God.
It was truly the most amazing thing I had experienced, and though exaggeration gets in the way of my thought process, it almost resembles the verse, that I should not worry, and God will take care of us and able us to purely and simply be his children in all that he made us to be, in our passion and our content and our traits of what we were meant to be by his creation, not the bad which he knew of but did not make desirable, therefore not making them of the belief of goodness. He had it all planned out I believe in the sense that I wish I could know because it seems right, and with a simple thought I am reminded to be still and know that he is God and does not need to be understood.
Since when did context matter, anything said can be said again in a different sentence and still mean something, it does not loose all hope of meaning, nor does it loose nearly what you would have displayed through such exaggeration of what appears in my mind to think of when experiencing the daydream of the thought of it. You can simply say something twice.
I am now remembering of last night when i figured out that nothing but being content was the answer to the meaning of life, and at the same time that everything exciting was the reason for passion and that together I could be complete and able to do anything I set my mind to, for if I needed to be content I could simply put myself in the place to be there and I could go and nothing else would need to be said.
Be still and know that I am God.
It was truly the most amazing thing I had experienced, and though exaggeration gets in the way of my thought process, it almost resembles the verse, that I should not worry, and God will take care of us and able us to purely and simply be his children in all that he made us to be, in our passion and our content and our traits of what we were meant to be by his creation, not the bad which he knew of but did not make desirable, therefore not making them of the belief of goodness. He had it all planned out I believe in the sense that I wish I could know because it seems right, and with a simple thought I am reminded to be still and know that he is God and does not need to be understood.
Since when did context matter, anything said can be said again in a different sentence and still mean something, it does not loose all hope of meaning, nor does it loose nearly what you would have displayed through such exaggeration of what appears in my mind to think of when experiencing the daydream of the thought of it. You can simply say something twice.
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